David Bowie Wonderworld: Home    'Who Am I? or Who's that pillock with David?'



We went on holiday to Cornwall did Mum and me. A song came on the car radio and it totally blew me away. I later found out that the hazy cosmic jive was called 'Starman' by someone called 'Bowie'. Then I saw him on TV, on Top Of The Pops. I thought he was an alien. Everybody thought he was an alien. He was an alien. I was eleven. I was besotted.

I bought it next day with my holiday spends. All I need now is a record player! Can't wait to get back home I'm sick of looking at an orange label. "I wonder what RCA stands for?"

Back in a back bedroom in Manchester with my new secondhand record player. The best place in the world. Never mind Cornwall it was crap. I bought 'John' with my pocket-money and I danced with him, and played it and played it again and (again). I got hold of a ticket for the Hard Rock. I've still got it. My mother wouldn't let me go. I absolutely hated her. She didn't realise, she didn't understand, so the lady bought me some 'Stardust' and then she did. I absolutely loved her.

The album cover said 'to be played at maximum volume'... it was! One thing I remember that totally confused me for a while was 'why would someone make love to his eagle?' Well anyway we had a budgie... and I loved that.

"Ziggy this, Ziggy that, Zig Zag Ziggy."
"Why don't you go out and play football?"
"I can't I've swapped it"... The Boy Who Sold The Ball.

On my birthday in October, we went to visit my Nan. I couldn't believe what she got me, she knew I was a fan. It was a 'ticker ticker' Timex with a red Bowie strap, a matching Bowie comb case and the first ever picture postcard of 'Dave Bowie'... and I've still got them!


Number 1524, that's what I am, now I'm an official 'Dave Bowie' fan. It was football, painting, bird's eggs and Ziggy. And not in that order. I wonder what happened to the Free Trade Hall gig? I must've been playing out.

Running down the wing with a hedgehog on my head, when I get a bit older I'm gonna dye it red. Off came the eyebrows, on went the glitter, didn't get many jobs as a babysitter.

My schooldays were insane...

"He's a puff that Bowie is, he's a puff."
"So... so fucking what."
They didn't realise you get more girls that way. Wankers.

I did a morning paper round. Every week I sat down in the entry reading Popswop, Mirabelle and Jackie. I used to rip the Bowie bits out. I got the sack after three weeks.

Summer holiday...
Running round Blackpool Fun Fair I spot two Ziggy posters.

"Oi Mister. What do I 'ave to do?"
"Score under twenty-one with three darts."

First throw... 'four', second throw... 'eleven', third throw... 'two'
"Sixteen! I'll have that Ziggy poster please."
"No it's seventeen."
"Fuck off. It's under twenty-one isn't it?"

So I try for the second poster. Could I get under twenty-one again? Could I bollocks. Seven goes I had, spent all my money... still only got one poster. The bloke just shrugged his shoulders. I walked off devastated. I went to meet my mum in the ice cream cafe, she was smiling and waving... she always looked fine.

"What have you won?"
"A Ziggy poster."
"So why are you looking fed up? It's a lovely picture."
"I've spent all my spends and I only won one, there was two of them."
"You spent ALL of your money trying to get the other poster? Right... wait here with your brother."

She came back two minutes later with the other Ziggy poster.

"Thanks Mum you're great. You got under twenty-one then?"
"No the man gave it to me."

I don't know how my Mum did things, but she ALWAYS seemed to sort everything out. I found out years later that she threatened to punch the fella because he'd taken all my money. 'Wham Bam Thank You Ma'am!'

In with a bullet strikes a red and blue lightning flash... 'Aladdin Sane'. Or so the story goes it should have been 'Love A Lad In Vein'. I like to think it's an anagram of 'Dad's An Alien'.

'BOWIE QUITS' read the headline. I was mortified. My mum said it was all planned out: "He's more like an actor. He's just going to change into another role, you'll see." I didn't believe her.

"Who's that on the cover with Bowie?" asked my mum.
"Twiggy?... Isn't she thin?"
"No wonder she's got a boyfriend called Justin!"

The last track got me worried again... 'Where Have All The Good Times Gone'... well, they were just around the corner.


David Bowie Wonderworld: Home
Roseland 2000
London '99
London '99
Glasgow '97
Radio 1, Manchester '97
Sunburnt at the Factory, Dublin '97
Pissed In Sheffield '95
Well Pissed In Sheffield '95
3.45am Manchester '90
Roseland 2000
London '99
London '99
Glasgow '97
Radio 1, Manchester '97
Sunburnt at the Factory, Dublin '97
Pissed In Sheffield '95
Well Pissed In Sheffield '95
3.45am Manchester '90

© Paul Kinder
Updated: 12th Jan 2002