DAVID BOWIE MISHEARD LYRICS

David Bowie Songs - (Alphabetical Listing)

A | B | C | D | E | F | G | H | I | J | K | L | M | N | O | P | Q | R | S | T | U | V | W | X | Y | Z

1984 Misheard: Beware the saboteur of 1984. Misheard: Beware the sound is sure of 1984. Misheard: Beware the savage lure of 1984. Misheard: Beware the savage whore of 1984. Misheard: Where the sound is pure of 1984. Misheard: Where the south is pure of 1984. Misheard: Beware the savage roar of 1984. Misheard: Beware the balla bore of 1984. Actual: Beware the savage jaw of 1984.

5:15 THE ANGELS HAVE GONE Misheard: This foreign ring brings me down. Actual: This foreign rain brings me down. Misheard: We never talk animal. Actual: We never talk anymore. Misheard: Forever and adore me. Misheard: Forever and ever only. Misheard: Forever and a dawn leal. Misheard: Forever and adorn Neil. Actual: Forever I will adore only you. Misheard: Angels like them pinned on the ground. Actual: Angels like them thin on the ground. Misheard: Swings turn me eyes. Misheard: Sweet sany eyes. Actual: Swings turn the eyes.

A SMALL PLOT OF LAND Misheard: He pushed back the pigment, the Barbs left. Actual: He pushed at the pigmen, the Barbs laughed.

ABSOLUTE BEGINNERS Misheard: If our Long Johns could fly over mountains. Actual: If our love song could fly over mountains. Misheard: We're sentenced to succeed. Misheard: We're certain to suck seed. Actual: We're certain to succeed.

ALADDIN SANE Misheard: Washing him dash away, swinging an old bouquet - dead Rosie. Actual: Watching him dash away, swinging an old bouquet - dead roses. Misheard: Sucky and strange divine. Misheard: Sarky and strange divine. Actual: Sake and strange divine. Misheard: Slacking the sandal strings. Misheard: Clutching the sandal strings. Actual: Saddening glissando strings. Misheard: Mutter 'sensational', Paris or maybe hell - I'm waiting. Misheard: Motor sensational, Paris or maybe Hull - I'm wading. Misheard: What a sensational, Paris or marble halls - I'm waiting. Actual: Motor sensational, Paris or maybe hell - I'm waiting.

ALL THE YOUNG DUDES (1972 demo version) Misheard: Howard kicked it in the head when he was twenty-five. Actual: How he'd kick it in the head when he was twenty-five. Misheard: Wendy's stealing clothes from our lockers. Misheard: Wendy's stealing clothes from knocks and spocks. Actual: Wendy's stealing clothes from Marks and Sparks.

ALL THE YOUNG DUDES Misheard: Wendy's stealing clothes from all our cars. Actual: Wendy's stealing clothes from unlocked cars. Misheard: Funky little bow rays. Actual: Funky little boat race. Misheard: All the young dudes, carry the nudes. Misheard: All the young Jews, carry the news. Misheard: All the young fools, carry the nudes. Actual: All the young dudes, carry the news. Misheard: Booddledidudes. Misheard: Bugle do dudes. Actual: Boogaloo dudes. Misheard: Brother you guessed, I'm a Jew, dad. Actual: Brother you guessed, well I'm a dude yeah.

ALWAYS CRASHING IN THE SAME CAR Misheard: Kill the urge to run the red lights. Actual: With kilometers and the red light. Misheard: As I put my foot on to the floor. Actual: As I pushed my foot down to the floor. Misheard: I was going, round and round, Hotel Carol Life. Actual: I was going, round and round, the hotel garage. Misheard: Must have been touching close to make you fall. Actual: Must have been touching close to ninety-four.

AMSTERDAM Misheard: And he once sought to bitch. Actual: And he wants so to belch. Misheard: And the snot that they tow underneath the street lamps. Actual: And the sluts that they tow underneath the street lamps.

ANDY WARHOL Misheard: Like to take a semen fix. Actual: Like to take a cement fix. Misheard: Be a stand in silly ma. Actual: Be a standing cinema. Misheard: But the people in my brain. Actual: Put a peephole in my brain. Misheard: Send him on our pleasure cruise. Actual: Send him on a pleasant cruise. Misheard: When he wakes up on the scene. Actual: When he wakes up on the sea. Misheard: He thinks about pink and he thinks about blue. Misheard: With a thing about paint and a thing about glue. Actual: He'll think about paint and he'll think about glue.

AS THE WORLD FALLS DOWN Misheard: It's just a circle. Actual: There's such a sad love Misheard: Living its life oh just a circle. Misheard: Deep in your eyes, a kind of meldew. Actual: Deep in your eyes, a kind of pale jewel Misheard: On a big stride within your thighs. Actual: Open and closed within your eyes Misheard: I place the lies within your thighs. Actual: I'll place the sky within your eyes Misheard: I'll feed you mountains of coke. Misheard: I think your mum's a girl. Actual: I'll paint you mornings of gold.

ASHES TO ASHES Misheard: Do you remember the Goth that's been? Misheard: Do you remember our gardens, Ben? Misheard: Do you remember rock Arthur Spear? Misheard: Do you remember when God was born? Misheard: Do you remember a guy Fats Bean? Misheard: Do you remember a guy that's pink? Actual: Do you remember a guy that's been? Misheard: Do you remember a guy that's been, it's such an earthly song. Misheard: Do you remember like I was there, it's such an ugly sore. Misheard: Do you remember a guy that's been, in such an ugly song? Misheard: I remember Agatha's been, in such an awful song. Misheard: Do you remember a guy that's been, in such a yearly soul. Actual: Do you remember a guy that's been, in such an early song. Misheard: I laughed a long needed laugh, saw the details fall away. Misheard: I've loved our love needed love, sunny details fall away. Misheard: I've loved all I've needed love, saw the details follow in. Actual: I've loved all I've needed love, sordid details following. Misheard: The shaking of nothing was killing us. Actual: The shrieking of nothing is killing. Misheard: Into the chap goes and simply sits. Misheard: Just pictures of gyros in synthesis. Misheard: Just pictures of Jap girls in silver suits. Misheard: Just pictures of Jap girls in super suits. Actual: Just pictures of Jap girls in synthesis. Misheard: Assorted details fall away. Misheard: Sorry deep down spiralling. Misheard: Saw the D-times for the week. Actual: Sordid details following. Misheard: Ashes to ashes, funk to fungi. Misheard: Ashes to ashes, funk to funky. Misheard: Ashes to ashes, honk the donkey. Misheard: Ashes to ashes, funk to flunky. Actual: Ashes to ashes, fun to funky. Misheard: F**k it, to f**k it, we know Major Tom joked. Misheard: Fun to funky, we know Major Tom's a donkey. Misheard: Fun to funky, we know Major Tom's a monkey. Actual: Fun to funky, we know Major Tom's a junkie. Misheard: Strung out on rebels I'm hitting an all time low. Misheard: Strung out in heaven's high, leading an old-time float. Actual: Strung out in heaven's high, hitting an all time low. Misheard: 'Damn it,' again I tell myself. Misheard: Time and again I'll tie myself. Actual: Time and again I tell myself. Misheard: But the little grey wings are following me. Misheard: But the little grey wheels are following me. Misheard: But the little grey whales are following me. Actual: But the little green wheels are following me. Misheard: I ain't got no money and I ain't got no hands. Actual: Ain't got no money and I ain't got no hair. Misheard: One flash of light, God knows smoking is dumb. Misheard: One flash of light, but no smoking piston. Misheard: One flash of light, but no smoking crystal. Misheard: One flash of light, but I'm smoking pissed off. Misheard: One flash of light, but no smoking... pissed off. Misheard: One flash of light, one no-smoking class flight. Actual: One flash of light, but no smoking pistol. Misheard: I never did anything out of the balloon. Actual: I never did anything out of the blue. Misheard: But the next to break the ice. Misheard: Wanna axe to break the eyes. Misheard: You're next to break the act. Actual: Want an axe to break the ice. Misheard: I'm gonna say, to get things done. Actual: My mother said to get things done. Misheard: You better not mess with major talks. Actual: You'd better not mess with Major Tom.

BABY GRACE (A HORRID CASSETTE) Misheard: And let me think, something is going to be heard. Actual: And this I think, something is going to be horrid.

BATTLE FOR BRITAIN (THE LETTER) Misheard: Don't you ever let her get you down. Actual: Don't you let my letter get you down.

BEAUTY AND THE BEAST Misheard: That's my kind of high road, gone wrong. Misheard: Has my kind of rolling, gone wrong? Actual: That's my kind of high rolling, gone wrong. Misheard: You can't say no to the Booty and the Beast. Actual: You can't say no to the Beauty and the Beast.

BIG BROTHER Misheard: Give me steel, give me steel, give me ounces unreal. Misheard: Give me steel, give me steel, give me pulses unreal. Misheard: Give me steel, give me steel, give me pulses and veal. Misheard: Give me steel, give me steel, give me ulcers unreal. Misheard: Give me steel, give me steel, give me horses on wheels. Misheard: Give me steel, give me steel, give me forces or fields. Actual: Give me steel, give me steel, give me pulsars unreal. Misheard: Someone to claim us, someone to swallow. Actual: Someone to claim us, someone to follow. Misheard: Someone to save us, some brave Apollo. Misheard: Someone to shave us, some brave Apollo. Actual: Someone to shame us, some brave Apollo.

BLACK COUNTRY ROCK Misheard: Pack your pickles up and rest stop here on Black Country Rock. Actual: Pack a pack horse up and rest up here on Black Country Rock.

BLACKOUT Misheard: The weather's grim, I suffocated. Actual: The weather's grim, ice on the cages. Misheard: Me, I'm robbing the 'hood and I puff on my cigarette. Actual: Me, I'm Robin Hood and I puff on my cigarette.

BLUE JEAN Misheard: She's got a camouflage faced bald monkey. Misheard: She's got a camouflage face and a monk. Misheard: She's got a camouflaged face in the night. Misheard: She's got her camouflage face in the mud. Misheard: She's got a camouflage face and no mmmmmm. Actual: She's got a camouflaged face and no money. Misheard: Remember they always let you down when you kneed 'em. Actual: Remember they always let you down when you need 'em. Misheard: She got a polish like she got a turnip nose. Misheard: She got her ponies back, she got a turned up nose. Misheard: She got a Polish dyke, she got a turned up nose. Misheard: She got a four-inch spike, she got a turned up nose. Actual: She got a police bike, she got a turned up nose. Misheard: Oh, I like my blue jeans blue. Actual: Oh, and when my Blue Jean's blue. Misheard: She got leather boots, she's got everything. Misheard: She got lead in boots, she's got everything. Misheard: She got language, she's got everything. Misheard: She got platform boots, she got everything. Misheard: She got platinum roots, she got everything. Actual: She got Latin roots, she got everything. Misheard: Somebody save me. Actual: Somebody send me. Misheard: One day I'm gonna get that fuckin' thing together. Misheard: One day I'm gonna get that fat girl together. Actual: One day I'm gonna get that faculty together.

BOYS KEEP SWINGING Misheard: The clowns are for ya. Misheard: The clouds will split for ya. Actual: The clouds part for ya. Misheard: Nothing stands in your way, when you're a void. Actual: Nothing stands in your way, when you're a boy. Misheard: Life is a top of the cherry. Actual: Life is a pop of the cherry. Misheard: Boys always word it out. Actual: Boys always work it out. Misheard: Luck just kissed you alone. Misheard: Don Knot's just kissed you hello. Actual: Luck just kissed you hello! Misheard: You're always first on the lie. Actual: You're always first on the line. Misheard: When you're a boy, you can buy an overcoat. Actual: When you're a boy, you can buy a home of your own. Misheard: When you're a boy, learn to drive a miracle. Misheard: When you're a boy, learn to drive a mirror king. Misheard: When you're a boy, learn to drive a mirror thing. Actual: When you're a boy, learn to drive and everything.

BREAKING GLASS Misheard: Don't look at the carpet, I threw up something awful on it. Misheard: Don't look at the carpet, I threw something awful on it. Actual: Don't look at the carpet, I drew something awful on it.

BRING ME THE DISCO KING Misheard: Hard cased days that you trailed around. Actual: Hot cash days that you trailed around.

CACTUS Misheard: Sitting here wishing on a semen flow. Misheard: Sitting here watching all the semen flow. Actual: Sitting here wishing on a cement floor.

CAN YOU HEAR ME Misheard: Chicken and rice. Actual: Take it in right. Misheard: Six years it isn't so much of life and what do I find? Misheard: Sixteen insisting not tonight and what do I find? Misheard: Six stages seeing so much of life and what do I find? Actual: Sixty new cities, and what do I, what do I, what do I find?

CANDIDATE Misheard: My scent is amazing, it even smells like a street. Actual: My set is amazing, it even smells like a street. Misheard: Someone scrawled on the wall 'I smell the blood of the tree cutters'. Actual: Someone scrawled on the wall 'I smell the blood of les tricoteuses'. Misheard: Making bullet-proof faces, join the Nazi catcher's wing. Actual: Making bullet-proof faces, Charlie Manson, Cassius Clay. Misheard: In the back of a car, in the cellar of a judge with a torch jar. Actual: In the back of a car, in the cellar like a church with the door ajar. Misheard: Caress you on the ground, wild chicken in flight. Actual: Who press you on the ground while shaking in fright.

CANDIDATE (Demo) Misheard: I'll make it a thing, when I get out on stage to believe in myself. Actual: I make it a thing, when I gazelle on stage to believe in myself.

CAT PEOPLE (PUTTING OUT FIRE) Misheard: I been hoping they were never men. Actual: An ageless heart that can never mend. Misheard: And I've been putting out fire with the cats on me. Actual: And I've been putting out fire with gasoline.

CAN'T HELP THINKING ABOUT ME Misheard: I can't help thinking about meat. Actual: I can't help thinking about me. Misheard: My girl calls my name - Heidi. Actual: My girl calls my name - Hi Dave.

CHANGES Misheard: And my time was running wild, a million Devon streets. Actual: And my time was running wild, a million dead-end streets. Misheard: Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes (Turn and face the strain). Misheard: Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes (Turn and face the stage). Misheard: Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes (Time can seem so strange). Misheard: Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes (Time to leave the stage). Actual: Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes (Turn and face the strange). Misheard: Time may change me, but I can change time. Misheard: Time may change me, but I can chase time. Actual: Time may change me, but I can't trace time. Misheard: Watch the nipples change the size. Actual: I watch the ripples change their size. Misheard: Don't tell them to grow up in Olivette. Misheard: Don't tell them to throw up an art event. Misheard: Don't tell them to blow up a parliament. Actual: Don't tell them to grow up and out of it. Misheard: It's a shame you've left us up to an accident. Misheard: Where's your shame you've left it up to the laxatives. Actual: Where's your shame you've left us up to our necks in it. Misheard: Strange fascination, fast hitting me. Misheard: Strange vaccinations are killing me. Actual: Strange fascination, fascinating me. Misheard: Changes are taking the face I'm going through. Misheard: Changes are taking the place I'm going to. Misheard: Changes are taking the phase I'm going to. Actual: Changes are taking the pace I'm going through.

CHINA GIRL Misheard: I feel erect without my, little China Girl. Actual: I feel a wreck without my, little China Girl. Misheard: I feel tragic like-a my long brand doll. Misheard: I feel attractive, like, uh - Marlon Brando. Misheard: I feel trudging Marlon Brando. Actual: I feel a-tragic like I'm Marlon Brando. Misheard: I could pretend that nothing will leave me to munch. Misheard: I could pretend that nothing really matter'd much. Actual: I could pretend that nothing really meant too much. Misheard: I stumble into town, just like a sacred clown. Misheard: I stumble into town, just like a singing clown. Misheard: I stumble into town, just like a singing gown. Actual: I stumble into town, just like a sacred cow. Misheard: Legends of swa stickers in my head, plans for everyone. Misheard: Visions of Sue Wah stickers in my head, plans for everyone. Misheard: Visions of swastikas in my head, bombs for everyone. Actual: Visions of swastikas in my head, plans for everyone. Misheard: It's in the why of my eyes. Actual: It's in the white of my eyes. Misheard: I'll give your man a voice to rule the world. Actual: I'll give you a man who wants to rule the world. Misheard: She says: "Oh baby, just you shut your mouse." Actual: She says: "Oh baby, just you shut your mouth." Misheard: I'll give you a million eyes to rule the world. Actual: I'll give you a man who wants to rule the world.

CRACKED ACTOR Misheard: Crack, baby, crack, show me your rear. Actual: Crack, baby, crack, show me you're real. Misheard: Smack, baby, smack, is that all that you fear. Actual: Smack, baby, smack, is that all you feel. Misheard: Suck baby suck, give me sweet head. Actual: Suck baby suck, give me your head. Misheard: But since he pinched you baby you're a pork you pie. Misheard: But since he pinched you baby you're a porcupine. Actual: But since he pinned you baby you're a porcupine.

CRIMINAL WORLD Misheard: And now I know about your special cases. Actual: And now I know about your special kisses.

CYGNET COMMITTEE Misheard: Yeah and we slit Rick Astley's throat. Actual: Yeah and we slit the Catholic throat. Misheard: And I want to believe, in the madness they call Slough. Actual: And I want to believe, in the madness that calls 'now'.

DAYS Misheard: My crazy brain intangled. Misheard: My crazy brain it tango's. Actual: My crazy brain in tangles. Misheard: Those storms keep pounding through my begging heart. Actual: Those storms keep pounding through my head and heart.

DIAMOND DOGS Misheard: When they pulled you out of the oxygen tank. Actual: As they pulled you out of the oxygen tent. Misheard: You asked for the latest Barbie. Misheard: You asked for the lady of this party. Misheard: You asked for the latest parting. Misheard: You asked for the latest heartache. Actual: You asked for the latest party. Misheard: Dressed like the freak you was, stop browning streaky walls. Misheard: Dressed like a priest he was, talk Downing Street he was. Actual: Dressed like a priest you was, Tod Browning's freak you was. Misheard: I'm sure you're not protected for this fantasy. Actual: I'm sure you're not protected, for it's plain to see. Misheard: The diamond dogs are vultures and they hide behind trees. Misheard: The diamond dogs have toasters and ask you home for tea. Misheard: The diamond dogs have poached eggs that they hide behind cheese. Actual: The diamond dogs are poachers and they hide behind trees. Misheard: Hunt you to the ground they will, mannequins on kiddie wheels. Misheard: Hunt you to the ground they will, 'mericans will kill appeal. Misheard: Hunted to the ground they wore mannequins with calipers. Actual: Hunt you to the ground they will, mannequins with kill appeal. Misheard: (Will they come?) - I hear your friend Celine. Misheard: (They come) - I keep her friends serene. Actual: (Will they come?) - I'll keep a friend serene. Misheard: Here they come - Oh baby come after me. Actual: Will they come? Oh baby come unto me. Misheard: Here they come - Well she called me a dog. Actual: Will they come? - Well she's come, been and gone. Misheard: Come out of the jungle baby, you caught your dick in the vault. Misheard: Come out of the doldrum baby, you'll catch your death in the fog. Misheard: Come out of the Garden of Eden, you'll catch your death in the Fall. Actual: Come out of the garden baby, you'll catch your death in the fog. Misheard: Onto the street he goes, all Tarzik all man ho. Actual: Onto the street below, oh Tarzie go man go. Misheard: Meet his little horsey with a goes down approach. Actual: Meet his little hussy with his ghost town approach. Misheard: Her face is sand speech although she wears a dolly brooch. Misheard: Her face is science feature, but she wears a diamond broach. Misheard: Her face, her saddest feature, but she wears a diamond roach. Misheard: Her face her saddest feature, but she wears a Dali brooch. Misheard: Her face is Sally feature, but she wears a Dolly brooch. Misheard: Her face is Sam's feature, but she wears a dally brooch. Misheard: Her face is sans feature, but she wears a Diamond brooch. Misheard: Her face is sans feature, but she wears a Dalek brooch. Misheard: Her face is science fiction but she wears a dolly brooch. Actual: Her face is sans feature, but she wears a Dali brooch. Misheard: Rigged up and paralysed. Actual: Wrecked up and paralysed. Misheard: Diamond dogs are civilized. Misheard: Diamond dogs are sterlised. Misheard: Diamond dogs are stable lies. Misheard: Diamond dogs have stable eyes. Misheard: Diamond dogs are staple lies. Misheard: Diamond dogs are stabilised. Actual: Diamond dogs are sableized. Misheard: Just another future song, a lonely little quiche. Actual: Just another future song, lonely little kitsch.

DJ Misheard: Ann Holt, lost her job, and incurably ill. Misheard: Land ho! Lost my job, and incurably ill. Misheard: I'm home, lost my job, and incurable B.O. Actual: I'm home, lost my job, and incurably ill. Misheard: I am a DJ, I am what I play, I've got the levers. Actual: I am a DJ, I am what I play, I've got believers. Misheard: I got the levers, relieving me. Actual: I got believers, believing me. Misheard: Humbled by a bit of fruit. Actual: Humble pie or bitter fruit.

DRIVE-IN SATURDAY Misheard: Perhaps the strange ones in the dorm. Actual: Perhaps the strange ones in the dome. Misheard: When people stared and Jagger's eyes were sore. Actual: When people stared in Jagger's eyes and scored. Misheard: His name was always funny. Misheard: His name was always Bobby. Misheard: His name was always Bunny. Actual: His name was always Buddy. Misheard: His name was always Buddy, and he'd shag an asp to stay. Misheard: His name was always Buddy, and he's drunken as the stage. Actual: His name was always Buddy, and he'd shrug and ask to stay. Misheard: She smiled like twinkle wonder kid. Actual: She'd sigh like Twig the Wonder Kid. Misheard: It's a crash call for the ravers. Actual: It's a crash course for the ravers. Misheard: John the foreman prayed at work, that neither hands nor limbs would burst. Misheard: John the foreman prays at work, knees and hands no limbs would burst. Misheard: Young the foreman prayed at work, that neither hands nor limbs would burst. Misheard: Jung the foreman prayed at work, that neither hands nor limbs would work. Actual: Jung the foreman prayed at work, that neither hands nor limbs would burst. Misheard: Bursting at the Astronette, which stands concealed by his cabinet. Actual: Cursing at the Astronette, who stands in steel by his cabinet. Misheard: The Durex supply for raging men. Actual: The Bureau supply for ageing men. Misheard: With snotty head he gazes to the shore. Actual: With snorting head he gazes to the shore. Misheard: Gimme that steam iron. Misheard: You love meat island. Actual: You love me an'.

EIGHT LINE POEM Misheard: Hera puts her head between the whores. Actual: Clara puts her head between her paws.

EVERYONE SAYS HI Misheard: If the food gets you livid. Misheard: If the food gets too heavy. Misheard: If the food gets too leary. Misheard: If the food gets too early. Actual: If the food gets too eerie. Misheard: And the girl makes four. Actual: And the girl next door. Misheard: And your big black dog. Misheard: And your big French dog. Misheard: And your big friends dog. Actual: And your big fat dog.

FALL DOG BOMBS THE MOON Misheard: These are my hands. Actual: There's oil on my hands.

FAME Misheard: Fame - makes a Mum takes things over. Misheard: Fame - make Iman take things over. Actual: Fame - makes a man take things over. Misheard: Is it any wonder, I'll reject your breast? Misheard: Is it any wonder, I reject your breasts? Misheard: Is it any wonder, I'll reject your best. Misheard: Is it any wonder, I'll reject your birth. Misheard: Isn't any wonder, I'll protect you first. Actual: Is it any wonder, I'll reject you first. Misheard: Shame, shame, shame, shame. Actual: Fame, fame, fame, fame. Misheard: Do it to you, do it to me, got to get a rental car... fame. Misheard: Bully for you, shoot 'em for me, gotta get a Reggie gun... fame. Misheard: Sugar for me, sugar for you, garlic and oregano... fame. Misheard: Booger for you, shoot her for me, got to get a rectum gun. Misheard: Bully for you, children for me, got to get the message on fame. Misheard: Bulla for you, bulla for me, gonna get the raincheck on the pain. Misheard: Bully for you, bully for me, gotta get original... fame. Actual: Bully for you, chilly for me, gotta get a raincheck on... pain. Misheard: Is it any wonder, I'll reject your verse? Actual: Is it any wonder, I'll reject you first?

FASCINATION Misheard: Fascination - Shona. Misheard: Fascination - shown up. Actual: Fascination - sure 'nuff.

FASHION Misheard: We are the bourgeoise and we're coming on down, beep beep. Misheard: We are the goose wad and we're coming to town, beep beep. Misheard: We are the goo squad and we're coming to town, beep beep. Misheard: We are the good squad and we're coming to town, beep beep. Actual: We are the goon squad and we're coming to town, beep beep. Misheard: Fa-fa-fa-fa-fascist. Actual: Fa-fa-fa-fa-fashion.

FIVE YEARS Misheard: And a queer threw up in the cider vat. Actual: And a queer threw up at the sight of that. Misheard: We've got five years, suck on my eyes. Actual: We've got five years, stuck on my eyes. Misheard: Five years, my braid shirts are lost. Actual: Five years, my brain hurts a lot.

FLY Misheard: I'm only sleeping in my head. Actual: I'm only screaming in my head. Misheard: The kids are gonna get it in an alright way. Actual: The kids have got a gig at an all night wave.

GOLDEN YEARS Misheard: Come wallop the baby. Misheard: Come burp the baby. Misheard: Come with a potato. Actual: Come get up my baby. Misheard: Never look back, walk tall, I'm fine. Misheard: Never look back, walk tall as a pine. Actual: Never look back, walk tall, act fine. Misheard: I'll sleep with you baby for a thousand years. Actual: I'll stick with you baby for a thousand years. Misheard: Run for the Chateau, run for the Chateau. Actual: Run for the shadows, run for the shadows.

HEARTS FILTHY LESSON Misheard: There's always a dame unfriendly. Misheard: They're always so damned unfriendly. Misheard: There's always the dime and friendly. Actual: There's always the diamond friendly. Misheard: Sitting in the last motel. Misheard: Sitting in the Lab Hotel. Actual: Sitting in the Laugh Hotel. Misheard: Paddy, what a fantastic death abbey. Misheard: Paddy, what a fantastic death penalty. Actual: Paddy, what a fantastic death abyss.

"HEROES" Misheard: I, I wish I could swim, like the doll things, like doll things can swim. Misheard: I, I wish I could swing, like the golf men, like golf men can swing. Actual: I, I wish I could swim, like the dolphins, like dolphins can swim. Misheard: We can eat Aero's, just for one day. Misheard: We can be here Rose, just for one day. Actual: We can be Heroes, just for one day. Misheard: And the guards, shot above our heads (over our heads). Misheard: And the cars, ran above our heads (over our heads). Misheard: And the Gods shone above our heads. Actual: And the guns, shot above our heads (over our heads). Misheard: And the shed, was on the other side. Misheard: And the Seine, was on the other side. Actual: And the shame, was on the other side.

"HEROES"/"HELDEN" Misheard: Dancing with Helen. Actual: Und wir sind dann Helden. Misheard: Dancing with Helen, no decent togs. Misheard: Dancing with Helen, no decent tags. Actual: Dann sind wir Helden, nur diesen tag.

HEY MA GET PA Misheard: Cramped me up with salt, to heal a lemon peel. Actual: Cramped me up with salt, Tequila, lemon peel.

I AM WITH NAME Misheard: I will remain. Misheard: I am with mane. Actual: I am with name. Misheard: I am rolling a stone. Actual: I am Ramona A. Stone. Misheard: She should say: "twitch and moan". Actual: She should say: "twitch and stream".

I CAN'T EXPLAIN Misheard: Been circumcised, it's a certain kind. Actual: A new feeling inside, it's a certain kind.

I DIG EVERYTHING Misheard: I've got the village I love. Actual: I've got the village tied up.

I HAVE NOT BEEN TO OXFORD TOWN Misheard: Baby Grace is the big chant. Misheard: Baby Grace in the big time. Misheard: Maybe this is a rectum. Actual: Baby Grace is the victim.

I PITY THE FOOL Misheard: Well I'm pitiful, I said I'm pitiful, you know I'm pitiful. Actual: Well I pity the fool, I said I pity the fool, you know I pity the fool.

I TOOK A TRIP ON A GEMINI SPACESHIP Misheard: I shot myself down. Actual: I shot my spacegun. Misheard: Saw a dust trail, leading back to you. Actual: The stardust trail, leading back to you.

I WOULD BE YOUR SLAVE Misheard: Walking through the snowy stream. Actual: Walking in the snowy street. Misheard: We'll sleep a quiet tune. Actual: Do you sleep in quietude. Misheard: We'll laugh out love peace. Actual: Do you laugh out loud at me. Misheard: I don't sinner and wait. Actual: I don't sit and wait. Misheard: I don't see the walk whole. Actual: I don't see the point at all. Misheard: Give me piece of my programme. Actual: Give me peace of mind at last. Misheard: Open up love heart to me. Actual: Open up your heart to me.

I'M AFRAID OF AMERICANS Misheard: Johnny wants to suck up my conk. Misheard: Johnny wants to suck on a cock. Actual: Johnny wants to suck on a Coke. Misheard: I'm afraid of a pelican. Actual: I'm afraid of Americans.

ISN'T IT EVENING (THE REVOLUTIONARY) Misheard: Isn't it heaving. Actual: Isn't it evening.

IT AIN'T EASY Misheard: We can all hop along too. Actual: We can all pull on through.

IT'S NO GAME (Part 2) Misheard: They're making carpets on treadmills, oh God it's sordid. Actual: They're making carpets on treadmills, or garbage sorting.

JOE THE LION Misheard: Boy, thanks for hesitating, this is a facade. Misheard: Boy, thanks for hesitating, this is a far side. Misheard: Boy, thanks for hesitating, this is a piss off. Actual: Boy, thanks for hesitating, this is the kiss off. Misheard: Hover over any freeway. Actual: Hobble over any freeway.

JOHN, I'M ONLY DANCING Misheard: Well, Ann is pretty neat, she always needs to meet. Misheard: Anne's pretty, she always eats her meat. Misheard: Always pretty Nietsche, she always eats her meat. Misheard: Her name is Brittany, she always eats her meat. Actual: Well, Ann is pretty neat, she always eats her meat. Misheard: Joe is awful strong, you bet you're life he's in this song. Misheard: She's always awful strong, save a life, she's putting us on. Misheard: Joe is awful strong, bet he likes his prick in the sun. Actual: Joe is awful strong, bet your life he's putting us on. Misheard: 'Allo there, 'allo there, you know I need some loving. Misheard: Oh no dear, oh no dear, you know that I need some loving. Actual: Oh lordy, oh lordy, you know I need some loving. Misheard: God, I wanna go dancing! You turn me on. Actual: John, I'm only dancing, She turns me on. Misheard: Shadow love was quicker than me, found yourself a fun machine. Actual: Oh shadow love was quick and clean, life's a well thumbed machine.

KNOCK ON WOOD Misheard: She sees, to it, that I get a knob. Actual: She sees, to it, that I get enough.

KOOKS Misheard: Will you stay in our lavatory? Actual: Will you stay in our lovers' story?

LADY GRINNING SOUL Misheard: She'll come, she'll go. She'll lay the leaf on you. Misheard: She'll come, she'll go. She'll lay a leaf on you. Actual: She'll come, she'll go. She'll lay belief on you. Misheard: Skin sweet with musky odour. Actual: Skin sweet with musky oil. Misheard: Cologne she'll wear. Silver and a merry card. Actual: Cologne she'll wear. Silver and Americard. Misheard: She'll drive a beat up car. Actual: She'll drive a Beetle car. Misheard: And meet you down at cool you bastard. Actual: And beat you down at cool Canasta.

LADY STARDUST Misheard: Laughed at his long black hair, his animal grins. Misheard: Laughed at his long black hair, his animal graze. Misheard: Laughed at his long black hair, sodom and grace. Actual: Laughed at his long black hair, his animal grace. Misheard: And he was all for lice, really quite out of sight. Actual: And he was awful nice, really quite out of sight. Misheard: Jessie was awful nice. Misheard: Yes, he was up all night. Actual: Yes he was awful nice.

LAW (EARTHLINGS ON FIRE) Misheard: I don't want no eggs, I want sausages. Misheard: I don't want knowledge, I want sausage. Misheard: I don't want knowledge, I want sausages. Actual: I don't want knowledge, I want certainty.

LET'S DANCE Misheard: Let's dance, put up with Reg Hughes and dance the blues. Misheard: Les Dennis, put on your red shoes and dance the blues. Actual: Let's dance, put on your red shoes and dance the blues. Misheard: Let's dance, for fear in gray chiffon. Misheard: Let's dance, the feel of gray chiffon. Actual: Let's dance, for fear your grace should fall.

LIFE ON MARS? Misheard: Saviours hiding on the dance floor. Actual: Sailors fighting in the dance hall. Misheard: Oh man! Look at those gay men go. Misheard: Oh man! Look at those pavements go. Misheard: Oh man! Look at those gay men go. Actual: Oh man! Look at those cavemen go. Misheard: Take a look at the old man, feeling up the wrong guy. Misheard: Take a look at the Lawman, feeling up the wrong guy. Misheard: Take a look at the wrong man, eating up the lunguy. Actual: Take a look at the Lawman, beating up the wrong guy. Misheard: It's on a merry cast orchard brow. Actual: It's on Amerika's tortured brow. Misheard: 'Cos lemons on sale again. Misheard: 'Cos Lennin's on sale again. Misheard: 'Cos Lemmings on sale again. Actual: 'Cos Lennon's on sale again. Misheard: To my mother, my darkened clouds. Misheard: To my mother, me dog enclowns. Actual: To my mother, my dog, and clowns.

LITTLE BOMBARDIER Misheard: What made him a soldier, Little Frankie Mear. Misheard: War made him a soldier, Little Frankie Mear. Actual: War made him a soldier, Little Frankie Mair.

LITTLE WONDER Misheard: Stinky weather fan, shaky hand. Actual: Stinky weather fat, shaky hand. Misheard: Dopey morning, Dot Cotton comes. Actual: Dopey morning Doc, grumpy gnomes. Misheard: Bitch screen dolls, tits and explosions. Misheard: Big scream dolls, tits and explosions. Actual: Big screen dolls, tits and explosions. Misheard: It's all in the tablets, sneezy Britain. Actual: It's all in the tablets, sneezy Bhutan. Misheard: Ma's happy nation, sit on my karma, day medication, take me away. Misheard: Ma's happy nation, sit on my karma, gay meditation, take me away. Misheard: Mars happy nation, sit on my car, dying medication, take me away. Actual: Mars happy nation, sit on my karma, dame meditation, take me away.

LOOKING FOR WATER Misheard: Still the leaves are spinning round. Actual: Silver leaves are spinning round. Misheard: Looking for Walter. Actual: Looking for water. Misheard: My la la's gone in a New York minute. Actual: But I lost God in a New York minute. Misheard: The dawns early light, damaged forever. Misheard: The dawns early light, baby, dark is forever. Actual: The dawns early light, Baby dumb is forever.

MAGIC DANCE Misheard: Slap that baby, make him pee. Actual: Slap that baby, make him free.

MEMORY OF A FREE FESTIVAL Misheard: And sowing machines of every shape and size. Actual: And saw machines of every shape and size. Misheard: The sowing machine is coming down. Actual: The sun machine is coming down.

MODERN LOVE Misheard: I catch the paper boy, who sings so really gay. Misheard: I catch a papal void, but things don't really change. Actual: I catch the paper boy, but things don't really change. Misheard: (Church on time), terrifies me, (church on time), makes me vomit. Misheard: (Church on time), televise me, (church on time), makes me party. Actual: (Church on time), terrifies me, (church on time), makes me party. Misheard: (Church on time), puts my trust in gardening. Actual: (Church on time), puts my trust in God and Man. Misheard: Gardening - no confession. Actual: God and Man - no confession. Misheard: Gardening - no religion. Actual: God and Man - no religion. Misheard: Modern love, makes me horny. Actual: Modern love, makes me party. Misheard: Put it in the larder, put it in the larder. Actual: Modern love, Modern love.

MOONAGE DAYDREAM Misheard: I'm an alley cager, I'm a mama-papa calling for you. Misheard: I'm an alligator, I'm a motherf**ker coming for you. Actual: I'm an alligator, I'm a mama-papa coming for you. Misheard: Keep your mouth shut, you're squawking like a big hairy butt. Misheard: Keep your mouth shut, just hold me like a big monkey bird. Misheard: Keep your mouth shut, you smoke a lot of big monkey butt. Misheard: Keep your mouth shut, you're talking like a big monkey bird. Actual: Keep your mouth shut, you're squawking like a pink monkey bird. Misheard: Keep your electric iron on ebay. Actual: Keep your 'lectric eye on me babe. Misheard: Put your ring onto my hand. Actual: Put your ray gun to my head. Misheard: Press your space cake down to my throat. Misheard: Press your spaced face close to mine, love. Actual: Press your space face close to mine, love.

MUSIC IS LETHAL Misheard: My friend, myself, bottom's hero. Actual: My friend, myself, boredom's hero. Misheard: Stumble falling to a Windsor table in search of wine. Actual: Stumble falling to a winsome table in search of wine. Misheard: Through the twisting inner screaming pleasure. Actual: Through the twisting inn of screaming pleasure. Misheard: Two wet lips of infinite pleasure smiled. Actual: Two wet lips of infant leisure smiled. Misheard: As they 'ready or not' in the air. Actual: As they play your night blue hair. Misheard: So a masked man showed more. Actual: So a masked man should mourn. Misheard: She's about to give in, for the music is lethal. Actual: Let the panting begin, though the music is lethal. Misheard: Take time on my hair, it was mine own party. Actual: She will shine on forever, he will shine on for me. Misheard: While Algerian waiters, grope at your shoulders. Actual: While jeering waiters, grope at your shoulders. Misheard: Exquisite room, my charming tool. Actual: Exquisite room, my charming tomb. Misheard: Your smooth pink Piranha. Actual: Your smooth pimp Piranha. Misheard: Let him tossed to be in a one way street. Actual: And then I'm tossed a-bleeding out on the street.

NATHAN ADLER - SEGUE 2 Misheard: With a criss cross machete, and slashes around cutting his ear hole an' everything. Misheard: With a criss criss machete, and slashes around cutting his ear on everything. Misheard: With a kris kris machete, and slashes around cutting a zero in everything. Actual: With a criss criss machete, and slashes around cutting a zero on everything.

NEVER GET OLD Misheard: I think about this and I think about there's no history. Actual: I think about this and I think about personal history.

NEW ANGELS OF PROMISE Misheard: We are the day dreamers. Actual: We are the dead dreams. Misheard: Take us to the 'Hedge of Thyme'. Actual: Take us to the edge of time.

NEW KILLER STAR Misheard: I never said umbrella, umbrella, umbrella. Actual: I never said I'm better, I'm better, I'm better. Misheard: I just gobbed at the scum. Actual: I discovered a star. Misheard: All the corners of the buildings, will the Queen remember these? Actual: All the corners of the buildings, who but we remember these? Misheard: The cyborgs and tease. Misheard: The cyborgs in trees. Misheard: The cyborgs and trees. Actual: The sidewalks and trees. Misheard: I'm not afraid of things. Actual: I got a better way. Misheard: A nuclear star. Actual: A new killer star.

NO CONTROL Misheard: If I could control tomorrow's haze, the doctors sure wouldn't bother me. Actual: If I could control tomorrow's haze, the darkened shore wouldn't bother me.

OH! YOU PRETTY THINGS Misheard: Oh God, I've judged you wrong. Misheard: Look out at Churchill Down. Misheard: Look out over Churchills farm. Actual: Look at your children. Misheard: All you Britney Spears, don't you know you're driving some, driving some drivers insane. Actual: Oh you pretty things, don't you know you're driving your Mamas and Papas insane.

PABLO PICASSO Misheard: Swinging on her back, boys jumping off a breeze block. Actual: Swinging on the back porch, jumping off a big log. Misheard: Never seemed better now. Actual: Pablo's feeling better now.

PANIC IN DETROIT Misheard: Alison Detroit. Misheard: Alley is destroyed. Actual: Panic in Detroit. Misheard: Putting on some clothes I made my waiter school. Actual: Putting on some clothes I made my way to school. Misheard: And I found my teacher crouching in his overwroughts. Misheard: And I found my teacher crouching he was overawed. Actual: And I found my teacher crouching in his overalls. Misheard: I screamed and ran to smash my favourite sun machine. Actual: I screamed and ran to smash my favourite slot machine.

PLANET OF DREAMS Misheard: We're living in Italian dreams. Actual: We're living in a planet of dreams.

PROVINCE Misheard: Try to breathe, as the world is intergraced. Actual: